


Tell Me You Need Me

by Lillie_Moreau



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Codependency, Depression, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, First Time, Friendship, Love/Hate, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8104639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillie_Moreau/pseuds/Lillie_Moreau
Summary: The war is over. Harry is done at Hogwarts. Suddenly he realizes that the world is changing and moving on without him. Can he cope with the changes and the world no longer needing The Boy Who Lived? Or will he slowly spiral out of control until he is no more than a hollow shell of the great man he once was.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Harry Potter fiction. Obviously I own nothing of this world but I am happy for the opportunity to use the world to be creative. Hopefully everyone enjoys this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. It will take a bit longer to write chapters because I want everything to come out somewhat perfectly. Sorry for any mistakes that you may find as readers that I miss.  
> Happy Reading!!

Chapter One

A sharp beeping noise blared through the small flat, waking Harry up from a deep sleep. Waving his wand, he silenced the alarm. It wasn’t often that he slept but when he did, he was dead to the world. Lately he had been dreaming of the his final moments with Voldemort. They were still extremely vivid and Harry swore he could still feel a twinge from his scar on occasion. Hermione insisted that it was just a sense memory but honestly, she wasn’t in his skin. How could she possibly know that? 

The first few years after the war had been almost like an afterglow for Harry. People had praised his name and everywhere he went adults and children ran up to greet him. Everyone praised the Chosen One; The Boy Who Lived. Now, Harry was no more than a distant memory that people thought of fondly on occasion. He knew that people were still grateful for the end of Voldemort, but there was no longer a need for him to protect the world. He was finding it increasingly difficult to relate to the world around him that was constantly changing. His relationship with Ginny had completely fallen apart which had sent him into a spiraling depression. All he wanted was for someone to need him. He longed to feel useful again.

Groaning, Harry swung his legs over the side of the bed, wincing when his bare feet hit the cold wooden planks. He rubbed his eyes, trying to push away the sleep before he slid his glasses up his nose. Harry gazed around the flat, hoping to find the motivation to go into work in some nook or cranny. It was a one room flat in Diagon Alley that was extremely cheap. The only downside was that the train constantly shook the windows and rattled the floorboards. 

Slowly, Harry slid out of bed and padded over to the sparse kitchen. He pulled out a bowl and dumped some corn flakes in before pouring milk over the top. As he was crunching away at his breakfast, there was a sharp rapping on his front door. Harry retrieved his wand from his bedside table before he looked through the peephole. A surge of confusion washed over him when he saw Ginny staring back at him.

“Come on, Harry. Open up! I know you’re in there. You can’t avoid me forever,” Ginny urged. Harry squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn’t been avoiding his ex-girlfriend on purpose, he had simply been so busy at work that he had forgotten to reply to her owl. The end of their relationship had been tense at best but he didn’t hear any anger in her present tone. As though he were opening a howler from Mrs. Weasley, Harry pried the door open cautiously.

“Ginny. Sorry. I forgot to reply,” Harry started. He opened his mouth to continue but Ginny held up her hand to stop him.

“We are all worried about you Harry. I’m not here about our relationship. I’m here about you. You’ve lost yourself in the Department of Mysteries! You need to pull yourself out of there. There are other openings within the Ministry, you’ve always talked about wanting to be an Auror,” Ginny said, pushing her way into the apartment. When she looked around, she couldn’t help but flinch. There was no sign that anyone truly lived within other than the mussed bed and the half eaten bowl of corn flakes. Harry shut the door behind them and continued back to his breakfast.

“I rather like the Department of Mysteries. It’s fascinating,” Harry pointed out. 

“That’s what we’re worried about,” Ginny replied. “Everyone knows people go a bit strange after working there for too long.” Harry narrowed his eyes and paused mid bite.

“When you say ‘we’ does that mean you, Ron, and Hermione? Because they voice their opinions loudly to me as well,” Harry said, his tone becoming slightly icy. “Why doesn’t anyone believe me when I say that I’m fine?” Ginny made a frustrated noise from the back of her throat.

“We don’t believe you because we know you entirely too well, Harry! I can see that you are still falling apart, if not just a bit slower than you were when we were together!” Ginny said in an exasperated tone. “You need to find someone to be with! A significant other or even just a friend! You’ve shut everyone else out! It isn’t healthy!” 

“Fine, if you all will leave me alone, I will try to make a friend,” Harry snapped. “Happy? Anything else you wanted to pester me about?” Tears welled up in Ginny’s eyes and she shook her head.

“I guess I will be going then,” she said softly. “I hope things get better for you Harry, I really do.” Dragging her feet, Ginny left the apartment far sooner than she had hoped. She had been hoping that Harry would be willing to talk to her; to hear her out. However, that didn’t seem to be the case, and she was growing increasingly worried that he would never be the same man again.  
*  
Many kilometers away from London, in the vast countryside, lay a sprawling manor that was still under quite a bit of construction. It was to be the new Malfoy Manor upon completion. After his former home had been contaminated by the Dark Lord, Draco hadn’t been able to sleep a wink in his childhood home. He felt much more comfortable in his new home that was far away from most people. When he walked through the streets of Diagon Alley, many of his fellow witches and wizards went out of their way to avoid him. They still saw the Death Eater he had become. No one seemed to care that he had done everything possible to change and turn his life around as best he could. It still sickened him to think about everything he had done leading up to the death of Dumbledore but there was nothing he could do to change the past. Still, he couldn’t blame people for being scared. 

Draco strolled through his private wing of the manor and paused to look out a large window. He let out a heavy sigh and sat down on the sill. The sky was a brilliant blue and the grass was so green it seemed to be glowing. Everywhere he could hear birds chirping, but it was as if he didn’t have access to the happiness they felt. As he was losing himself in a deep train of thought, his mother came up and began fussing around him. It didn’t matter that he was now an adult, Narcissa Malfoy still saw Draco as a broken little boy.

“Sweetheart, is everything okay? You’ve seemed a bit distant lately,” she said, running her fingers through her son’s fine and silky hair. Draco sucked in a deep breath to avoid letting out an exasperated sigh. He didn’t want to offend his mother when he knew she was only babying him because she was worried. And she was right, he had been isolating himself more and more.

“I’m fine, mother. Just a little tired with all this construction going on. You would think magic would make the job go by faster but apparently that is not the case,” Draco grumbled. “The contractors I hired are bloody awful.” Narcissus chuckled and sat down across from her son.

“As much as I would like to believe that you are fine and the only thing on your mind is construction, something tells me that there is something far more pressing weighing on you,” Narcissa said. “You don’t have to tell me what is going on, but know I love you very much and I would do anything for you.” Draco looked over at her and gave her a sad smile.

“Can you turn back time and make father chose not to become a Death Eater?” Draco asked dryly. Narcissa closed her eyes and for a few moments she looked as if she were in pain. “Do you think anyone else feels this way now that the war is over? Do you think anyone else can relate to not fitting in with the new society?” His mother sighed and nodded her head slowly.

“I can think of one other person that would probably have a hard time with these new changes, though he fought very hard to make them happen,” Narcissa said quietly. “I can’t imagine Harry Potter knows how to function with the world not needing him to remove Voldemort from power.” Draco snorted in amusement.

“You can’t honestly think I am so desperate for company that I would go to Potter?” He scoffed. His mother cast him a withering stare that made him shiver and stopped him mid eye roll.

“Our family is in debt to Potter for what he has done. If not for him, we would still be serving the Dark Lord and that is not a life I want for you,” Narcissa all but snarled at her son. Draco tried to hide the guilty look on his face, but it was clear from the smirk his mother was giving him that said she had seen his expression.

“Just because we are in debt to him does _not_ mean I have to be friendly with him!” Draco snapped. Narcissa laughed loudly, nearly doubling over. She couldn’t believe how stubborn her son could be at times.

“You are no longer at Hogwarts. Why carry on a silly little feud between Slytherin and Gryffindor? If it helps you to be a little less alone, it is worth a try. Though you might avoid mentioning the idea to your father,” Narcissa said softly. Draco opened and closed his mouth a few times but found he had nothing to counter his mother’s very good point. Instead, he simply chose to stare out the window. Narcissa could tell that her son was keen for the conversation to be over so she stood from her seat and kissed Draco on the forehead. “You should try sleeping, Draco. It is amazing how much better it can make one feel.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes I have made!!   
> Enjoy!!

Chapter Two

By the time Harry made it into work, he was still dragging his feet. Something about seeing Ginny had thrown him off even more than usual. He felt exhaustion coursing through every inch of his body, and concentrating on the various files and requests in front of him was nearly impossible. Harry removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. As he was slipping the lenses back into place on his nose, a wave of memories came flooding over him. Harry wished more than anything else that he could forget about his entire relationship with Ginny. Every time he thought about it or someone brought it up, he was forced to confront just how much he had changed since the war had ended. 

_Harry stood outside in the Weasley’s garden. He stared up at the blue sky that was tinged by pinks and purples as the sun set. Harry felt his stomach twist with guilt and he cast a look back at the house, trying to convince himself he really had just been overheating and needed some air. Truth be told, it was difficult to be around the large family gatherings now. He could hardly relate to the topics of conversation: marriage, children, and peace. Harry clenched his hands into fists and jammed them into his pockets. He wasn't trying to be difficult on purpose. However, he had spent his entire life, nearly since birth, being thrown into battle. Now he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Harry Potter felt totally useless for the first time in his life._

_Starring up at the sky was actually beginning to settle his anxiety, until he felt Ginny snake her arms around his waist. She nuzzled his back gently with her small nose and gave him, what he assumed to be, a reassuring squeeze. When Ginny finally let go, Harry turned to face her and attempted to give her a smile, but it faltered and the all too familiar frown crossed her beautiful brow._

_“What’s wrong, Harry? You've been out here for ages. The family is getting worried about you,” Ginny said. “Please come inside and eat with us.” Harry sighed and ran a hand through his still unruly black locks._

_“I feel like I can't breathe in there, Gin. I don't know how to be normal,” Harry confessed, hoping his beloved girlfriend would understand what he was trying to say. It was much more difficult to put into words._

_Harry hoped desperately that Ginny wouldn't take what he was saying to mean he wanted Voldemort back. He simply couldn't fathom that the world was peaceful for once in his life. Even the infamous Petunia Dursley had sent him a birthday card this year which could only mean that hell was truly freezing over. A momentary look of understanding flashed across Ginny’s face but that look quickly turned to exasperation._

_“Have you been drinking again, Harry? You know you get like this when you drink too much. You aren't normal because you don't want to be. We all still need you but just in a different way and you have to be the one to accept that. We can't force you to change,” Ginny said, rubbing her temples. “Honestly, you are turning into someone I don't even recognize.”_

_Anger flashed through Harry and it took every ounce of self control he had to not explode at the woman in front of him. How could she expect him to be the same? He would never be the same boy she once had a crush on. War had turned him into a man who had learned to shut off him emotions and just get the job done. He never wanted to feel the deep pain and sadness he had felt as he watched Sirius fall through the curtain in the Department of Mysteries. He never wanted to feel as helpless and weak as he had when Dumbledore had toppled off the Astronomy Tower; death claiming one of the greatest wizards in history. How could Ginny, whom had watched him suffer through every painful moment, expect him to ever be a careful adult?_

_“Then why are you still with me? If I am really so horrible, why stay?” Harry snapped. Ginny looked as though she had been slapped round the face._

_“I stay because I love you. You don't just give up on someone you love,” Ginny whispered, clearly fight back tears, and most likely fighting off the urge to slug Harry in the nose._

_“Well maybe some people just can't be saved,” Harry half yelled._

_Harry whipped out his wand and quickly disapparated. Ginny stood alone in the garden, her hand outstretched towards where Harry had stood just seconds before as though she had been planning to stop him._

That had been their first real fight and it had completely changed the dynamic of their relationship. Ginny had started walking on eggshells around Harry, desperate to preserve something from all their good times. Harry continued to drink, allowing it to get the better of him. Suddenly the Department of Mysteries became his home. Sleeping on a threadbare couch was better than going home to a tense flat where Ginny would talk about everything under the sun, as long as it was a superficial conversation. She seemed to dread Harry coming home just as much as he dreaded actually walking through the front door. After their separation, Harry had moved to the flat in Diagon Alley. It wasn't because he couldn't afford their previous townhome, he just couldn't stand being surrounded by everything Ginny had picked out to decorate the place.

Knowing he wasn't going to get any work done at his desk, Harry ventured out of his tiny office that was no bigger than a broom closet. He wandered around the halls for a few moments, trying to figure out something productive to do. The winding and twisting hallways were such a part of Harry’s memory that he was basically operating on autopilot. He was paying so little attention that it barely registered another person was in the same hall as him until they were both sprawled on the ground. Groaning, Harry sat up and fumbled around until he was able to get his glasses back on. He blinked a few times, hoping that his vision would clear and he silently cursed himself for drinking that morning.

“Sorry...lost in thought,” Harry mumbled, helping the other wizard to his feet. 

“Quite all right. I got off on the wrong floor. Didn't mean to end up lost down here,” the other man said. As his vision came back into sharp focus, Harry did a double take. 

“Malfoy?” Harry said in total disbelief. It had been a few years since he had seen the young man and he was in complete shock that a Malfoy was setting foot in the Ministry. The family had been cast out of the wizarding world for the most part.

“Potter, can't say I'm surprised to see you holed up down here,” Draco sneered. “You look bloody awful.” Harry didn't even try to hide his eye roll.

“Thanks,” he grumbled. “What are you even doing here? I would think you would be embarrassed to show your face anywhere other than Nocturn Alley.” Draco let out a snort of amusement. Normally Harry would have been right. Rarely did he leave his new piece of property.

“I had to file a permit for muggle protection spells around my new piece of land. Apparently the Ministry wants to know all the places wizards reside to keep an eye on things. Not that it would matter for the great Harry Potter. What, do you live in a castle in the middle of Diagon Alley?” Draco snapped. He couldn't help but let his annoyance get the best of him. There was just something about Harry that set his teeth on edge. However, in hearing the snarky remark, Harry blanched and almost seemed to hunker down.

“Turn around and take two lefts and then three rights. That will take you back to the lift,” Harry said before he turned around and shuffled away.

Draco stood for a few moments in a stunned silence. He was used to going back and forth with Harry for some time before they parted ways. The man he had just seen was completely defeated in every sense of the word. Draco could clearly see that there was no fight behind his eyes as there had once been. He started to turn around and head back to the lift, but something stopped him. There was a quiver in the pit of his stomach that made his hands go cold and clammy. Draco couldn't put his feelings into words but without putting much thought into his actions, he jogged after Harry, catching up to him just as his office door was closing. 

When Harry turned to shut the door to his little closet, he stumbled backwards into his desk, wincing when his hip made contact with a sharp corner. The last thing he had expected was for Draco Malfoy to hurry after him and then slip into his office. He was in no mood to keep talking to the man. The comment about still being held up on a pedestal in the middle of town had hit too close to home. It was just another thing Harry could add to his list that brought back memories gone sour.

“What do you want?” Harry snapped, rubbing his hip and sitting down in his squeaky chair. Yanking his desk draw open, Harry retrieved a bottle of scotch and poured himself two fingers. He had begun drinking shortly after Ginny had left that morning and he didn't have any intention on stopping. Draco raised a questioning eyebrow at him when he quickly downed the first shots and poured another. 

“Bit early for that don't you think?” Draco asked, glancing down at his newly acquired muggle watch that read 10:30am. At the ivy glare he got in return he added, “not that it’s any of my business.” Draco looked around the office as he sat down on the couch. 

“Seriously, Malfoy, what the hell do you want,” Harry demanded. Draco stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles as though he were indicating that there was nothing Harry could do to get rid of him. 

“To be honest, I'm here because I think you may be the only person who can even come close to understanding a fraction of what I feel,” Draco said softly. “I didn't believe my mother at first but it seems she was right, as always.” Harry paused mid sip and raised an eyebrow.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He growled.

“Neither of us fit in here. We both fit in better with the old world, a world full of war. We literally have nothing to fight about and we are still snapping and snarling at each other,” Draco pointed out. 

Silently, Harry got out another glass and poured the amber liquid into it. He got up slowly and walked over to the couch. He handed one glass to Draco while still holding onto his own. In an almost hesitant manner, Harry sat down next to his old rival and clinked his glass against Draco’s.

“Here’s to being an outcast,” Harry mumbled. Draco snorted.

“Cheers.”


End file.
